reality hits

This is sort of a depressing entry…for me. I had a wake-up call last night. The last time I felt this way was when I went to Vegas and couldn’t fit into a pair of jeans I packed. I thought for sure I could still wear those jeans. I had no clue.

I have to lose 10 pounds. I know it isn’t all about the numbers, but that is one way to measure how I’m doing. I don’t know how much I weigh now. I will wait until later to get an exact weight. I know it is near 140. 😦

I’ve been calling into overeaters anonymous meetings. I can relate to those people so much. But I have to work the program…or do I? What other options are there? I’m on a waiting list for a binge/overeaters workbook from the library. I can’t wait to get it. OA members talk about writing, and I don’t know what to write. For now, I will just write like I do in my journal until I figure it out.

I’m not getting a sponsor and working the program. That is what I’m saying now. If I can’t lose these 10 pounds or GAIN weight, I might have a different take. I am going to attempt to work the program by myself, and I might speak up in a meeting. Not sure.

So this is an update on the overeating thing. Apparently, it is still an issue. I wish I could lose the weight quickly, but I didn’t gain it quickly. Blah, blah. I do feel like I gained it overnight, but I know that’s not true.

I’m going to come up with a better food plan within the next couple weeks. I’ve been trying to save money on food and eating cheap shit on occasion. I can’t continue to do that. Breakfast and small snacks are set. I need new ideas for lunch and dinner.

I’m a sugar addict. I try to limit my sugar intake. The only time I’m bad at it is when I’m overeating. Sugar starts binges for me. I try not to have anything that lists sugar as one of the main ingredients in my house.  I need to limit flour. That’s harder. I don’t know what to eat for lunch if I can’t have flour. I don’t eat a lot of bread because I know I shouldn’t have it. I stopped eating bread years ago, but then I started back up for ease.

I don’t cook, so that is also an issue. I’m going to think about all this over the next few weeks. I will never really cook, but I do have a crock pot. I can use that.  I’m just thinking out loud now, so I’m going to go.

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