I called and canceled my three appointments with my therapist! It was scary to pick up the phone. But the usual person didn’t answer the phone, so it was easier to cancel. She did ask if I wanted to reschedule. ROFL. I am never, ever, ever going back to her. That would be wrong on my part…to expect her to see me again.
Besides her office is 15 minutes away and during rush hour it is a little worse. I can easily find someone closer. I’m leaning towards not doing therapy right now, but I am considering online therapy. I wouldn’t have to leave my house. Score!
The reason I’m against therapy at the moment is because I don’t know what my main issue is. Well, I know what I want to focus on (impulsive behavior), but I know not having friends AKA a support system will come up, and that might derail everything. I would have to tell her about the social anxiety, and she would know that it is severe without me telling her. She would also know about my depression because that is my main diagnosis and I would tell the therapist that.
Anyway, I’m not sure what I want to do. I think I’m going to wait until January if I decide to do online therapy. The first 5 sessions are free through my job.
The system is temporarily down for my part-time job, so I’m going to blog a bit more. I hate when others deny their privilege or don’t acknowledge it, so I’m going to call myself out on my last entry.
I’m privileged to be an American citizen, so I don’t have to worry about Donald Trump deporting me. There are people who registered under DACA and of course they have a right to be fearful. It’s not just them. Undocumented immigrants (not registered under DACA) are also scared because of what Trump has said. I don’t personally have to worry about that. I don’t want to come across as blase or noncaring.
It’s easy for me to have a wait and see approach when it comes to Trump because my life is not on the line. I just wanted to put it out there. I’m fully aware of my privilege in this situation. I do not deny it. etc. etc. etc.
White privilege isn’t the only kind. There’s American privilege. Light skinned privilege (versus dark skinned). Able-bodied privilege. Straight privilege. Male privilege. I could go on. I don’t expect people to be aware of everything and always acknowledging it cause that would be a lot! lol. But to deny it exists is only helping the person who denies it. And that is a pet peeve of mine, so I had to blast myself.
In my defense, I typed my last entry quickly, and I expect the system to be up soon, so I have to go right about now. Instead of updating my last entry, I’ll post my planner update here:
Here are my plans from last week in my neutral Erin Condren planner: