Done being done

OMG! I might have an Overeaters Anonymous sponsor!!! I texted her, and she told me to call on Sunday, but she didn’t say what time. ugh. I mentioned a time in my initial text to her so I’ll call her at that time. I hope that’s okay.

That was so freaking brave of me! LOL. My therapist gave me the push. I told her I had to do it, and she agreed. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This is so scary.

Why do I need a sponsor? Because I still can’t fight the urge to order delivery. Well, today I was going to do it, and I talked myself out of it, but it isn’t like that every day. I don’t want to regain my weight and who wants to feel addicted to anything? I don’t. So I’m trying to get in front of the problem…for once in my life.

I will also binge on sweets which isn’t a daily problem because I don’t keep sweets in my house.

I do have a fear that my problem will seem “not bad enough” because I don’t have weight to lose, but she has probably been around enough to know that weight isn’t the only issue. Any person who has gone to an OA meeting in person knows there are people of all sizes there. I’ve never been, but she probably has.

Now I just need a Debtors Anonymous sponsor. That probably won’t happen within the next 60 days. I’m trying to manage this on my own. I’m doing okay (besides when I order food). The main problem is that my bills are high, and I’m not making enough. But two things are changing: My car payments will stop in a few months, and I now have a part-time job.

Speaking of my part-time job: I finally heard back from them. I had to do more training, and now I’m ready to work. Well, I don’t feel ready, but they are going to give me work. I’m waiting for yet another email. Well, now I know they are slow, so I might not get a response until late next week.

The Washington Wizards are having an open practice on this upcoming Friday. At first, I was going for sure. Now I’m not sure. I haven’t seen the Wizards in person in about five years.  John Wall might not be there due to an injury. 😦 That would be my main reason for going since I’ve never seen him play or practice. Do I want to spend 90 minutes on a Friday evening watching basketball? I think I do. hmmm.

This week I…

Music of the week: Frank Ocean, Britney Spears, Brooklyn Duo, Ariana Grande, Carly Rae Jepsen, Kelly Clarkson, Ingrid Michaelson, Rihanna

I adore Brooklyn Duo’s version of Beyonce’s “Pray You Catch Me.”

I love the cello. I always wanted to play the strings, but I played three years of clarinet instead. I wish Brooklyn Duo would do Beyonce’s whole album. This song is so good. Trust me. Listen to it!

TV of the week:  Big Brother, Survivor

I was shocked by who won Big Brother! Shocked. I’m okay with the winner, though. The person could be annoying at times. That’s the only negative thing I have to say.

Movie of the week: none

Books of the week: Still reading Sex Object by Jessica Valenti. I’m almost done. The book is okay. It is a memoir. She had a lot of sex and did a lot of cocaine. That is how I would summarize the book. It is what it is.  I chose to read it because I’m a  fan of Jessica. I’m still reading You’re a Badass by Jen Sincero.

Plans for the Weekend: Grocery shopping, working on my certification course, training for my part-time job. Right now this is my life. I expect to start working for pay next week. I will be so nervous about the sponsor thing. Breathe.

Have a fun weekend! 🙂

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