I know how to fake a hard look

You might not be able to help me. That makes me sad, but not for me. It makes me sad for you. It must be frustrating for a shrink to have a patient who’s beyond fixing. That first shrink I saw when I got back to Clayton Falls told me no one is a lost cause, but I think that’s bullshit. I think people can be so crushed, so broken, that they’ll never be anything more than a fragment of a whole person.

-still missing by chevy stevens

I now weigh about 134 lbs. I would think, “I’ve got to be pregnant” but I know I’m not. This is ridiculous! I weighed myself right after weight lifting class today. Don’t say muscle weighs more than fat because I know that is not the case for me. I just started working with weights. SCREAM. I don’t know what to do anymore. This is far from my biggest issue. I wouldn’t dare call it a problem but seeing 134 on the scale today was a little frustrating.

I’m frustrated with everything right now. FUCK. Weight shouldn’t even be a concern for me. I have so many real problems, issues & concerns. LOL. If I had to rate something #1, I guess it would be (should be) financial concerns.


I’m officially sick of the Zimmerman trial. Well it isn’t the trial as much as people talking about it. And what am I about to do? Blog about it. I don’t have a TV in my home office but I do have wireless headphones so I sometimes listen to the audio throughout the day. I love trials. I watch them all – big and small. I hate watching ones where the defendants have public defenders. NO OFFENSE to them. They just don’t have the funds to compete with the prosecution. And that’s not a level playing field.

Back to Zimmerman…I don’t understand why people are so caught up in who was yelling on the tape. Does it matter? To me it doesn’t because if a certain person had NOT FOLLOWED SOMEONE, none of this would have happened. MYOB. I know he is a overzealous neighborhood watch type so he isn’t a minding your business type. He thinks everything is his business. I know the type.

I think he should be charged with a lesser offense. Manslaughter or negligence. I know the law in Florida but self defense when he sought out trouble? Uh, no.


Horrible transition as in no transition. Confession: Sometimes I watch TV shows and wonder how my life would be different if I had friends in high school. I never went to a sleepover. I never had a birthday party. I never dated (and wasn’t allowed to). I never did anything normal. I know gauging normal by watching “Pretty Little Liars” (haha) is not something one should do but I wonder. What is it like to be able to talk?

Now I guess the question is ‘What is it like to want to talk?’ I don’t know if I ever really had the desire but now it is basically gone.


See I was reading my book and then I saw the quote. I stopped. I had to get that quote in my blog. So much for reading. I don’t do these ranting random posts as much as I used to so……..

/end rant


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