No more standing in the back of the line

Sigh. I know I recently started my entry with “Work is kicking my ass”. UGH! It hasn’t gotten any better. The changes at work are horrible. Everyone hates it and complains about it but at least they are above water. Barely. I keep getting behind. I just want to constantly scream. I’m going to see what I can do tomorrow. I could go on and on about work because it is so important. I kind of need it, you know? It won’t need me if this continues……I’m trying really hard but that isn’t good enough.

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Ladies, I’m going to keep coming to water aerobics on Tuesday whether you like it or not. You can go on another day if YOU would like but I’m not changing. I won’t be there this Tuesday probably but every Tuesday after that, I plan to be there. The difference between catty girls and catty guys is that I would be humiliated and terrified if a guy said those things. I would be so ashamed and never go back. Girls – whatever! (They are definitely women but I always refer to females as girls. Bad habit I guess?)

I’m always worried about what others will think. I don’t want to offend them or stick out in anyway. I’m not talking about the water people. Is it okay to do core work (sweaty work) and then go right to yoga? It is in the same room with the same instructor. I think some people stay for both. I want to do both. But in the back of my mind I’m going: What if I stink after doing core work? It is only a 30 minute class but it is probably like doing pilates for an hour.

I just need to deal with it: People don’t like me. They will never like me. No matter what I do. I swear I have half accepted it…okay almost 100% accepted it but there’s this little part of me that wonders WTF did I do? Fuck it, I don’t know social cues. Screw it.

Sorry for the outburst.

Anyway, I got my taxes back finally. I am now paying $14 less than people who makes twice what I make. It doesn’t seem right. I think it is because I’m single. People with kids probably get much more bang for their buck at the Y. They get free childcare etc. My current gym schedule is:

Sunday: gentle yoga

Tuesday: water aerobics

Wednesday: core class and hatha yoga (back to back)

I might add something else. I want to do cardio but I can’t find anything that isn’t choreographed and fits my schedule. I tried zumba at another gym. It was okay but not my thing. I just want to make sure I get the most for membership. This is what happens when it isn’t free! šŸ˜‰

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I don’t blog as often as I used to because I’m terrified to move in my apartment. Sad but true. I try to limit my movements. In a way the Y is my saving grace. I get to leave my place and go somewhere!! WOW. This why my entries are so long when I do blog on the weekends. I’m not at home right now. I’m semi-free!

I worked at the library and the mall today. I had to get away. My neighbors have been home from work. Ugh, what if they get President’s Day off? (I don’t). The library is probably closed so I may find myself at the mall. The good thing about the library is there are plugs!! My laptop battery will not last for 7-8 hours. No way.

Paralysis and fear = my life right now

Oh, I’m watching “Girls” on DVD. I don’t think I’m getting it. haha.

I’m going to do another post soon. I will try to be coherent. Right now I’m so tired and I can’t think a full thought.