Disappointed, over-extended, frustrated and shaken

Foreclosure. It doesn’t sound very good. I first learned that I was going to do it at 9:25AM today. Needless to say I didn’t get a lot of work done this morning. I cried (a little). This sucks.

To just stop paying a bill? ME? Miss I-have-excellent-credit? I have to intentionally miss payments. I haven’t even really looked into how to stop my automatic payments. I guess I have to call the bank? I can’t believe it.

I know people will judge me for it like they judge a person for getting plastic surgery or having an abortion (okay not the same things…). Everyone who goes into voluntary foreclosure has a different story. Mine is a horrible, horrible loan. The loan I have is probably not legal now. More of the story is the gunshots, fireworks aimed at my house and car, and other criminal things done to my car. I don’t feel safe there but that isn’t the main reason why I’m not there anymore. It is just a part of the story. I also get physically and mentally sick when I go back. Well technically it is probably all mental with physical symptoms.

I only care what future renters/lenders/employers think. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. They will never know my circumstances. As for lenders, I’m not planning on borrowing money for the next 7-8 years so that is not a concern at the moment. I hope any future employer will not check my credit. I have enough problems. ROFL. Please don’t add that mark to me too! Hopefully I get to stay in my apartment I’m moving to for a while so I hope renting isn’t an issue.

But it still sucks. I hate being a bad girl. 😦  It also isn’t just about being bad. What if I still owe money after the foreclosure? How much? I have no idea. There is no way for me to know that. Even the short sell manager told me to foreclose. She’s like “Uh, why are you still paying?” Because I thought I could sell the house under the short sell program and then do a deed in lieu of a foreclosure. That is what I was told more than once. Apparently you and your assistant did not look at the type of loan I had before telling me that info.

I knew it was too good to be true. Sigh.

I’m moving on December 15. That is a another huge worry. Like I’ve said I have moved several times, this is probably the most stressful. I won’t get into all that right now.

2012 was a bad year. The deaths in the family back to back confirmed that for me. And then all this. Not good. I did have highs. The highest being going to Oaxaca, Mexico. I’m so glad I seized that moment! Also starting to work at home was a great bonus too. 2013 has got to be better. Not really. haha. In my dreams. Unexpected things (like death) can always happen so there is no way for me to know what the next year will bring. But I do know that if my living situation is fine, then half of the battle is won. So I’m hoping, really hoping for a good neighborhood. I will find out soon enough.

Oh dear.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s