the wanderer

Maybe it is just me but it seems like everything is geared towards creative people. There are right brained people, left brained people, mixed people and maybe people who need a class? I’m torn. I just know that my life sucks. It’s like I woke up one day and realized it but surely, I’ve known this all along?? Hello, it is pretty obvious.

My sister makes short films and she travels the world. THE WORLD. She has been everywhere but Antarctica. (Side note: I’ve been obsessed with Antarctica from a young age…even though I hate the cold). She is one year older than me yet she has a life.She isn’t rich at all. Far from it. She doesn’t have social anxiety. So realistically it is dumb of me to even compare myself to her. I usually don’t compare myself to normal people because I just can’t. So stop. I can’t compare myself to others my age or even teenagers. LOL.

But seeing my sister’s life has inspired me to do…something. Unfortunately I can’t travel for many reasons. That is my ultimate dream. I know a job can be made out of it if you are creative. heh. But to me that is more of a hobby or maybe even a way of life for a lucky few.

I can’t travel the way I want to. (My dream places are Mexico, Greece, Bora Bora and San Francisco – in that order). But maybe I can….

Take a class! Oh fuck. Yeah, that isn’t ideal. A fun class. I have narrowed it down to a sewing class or a jewelry making class. The class is from 6:30-9 once a week. (Hate those hours – it better be fun). The cost is about $250 with materials. Sigh. I’m leaning towards metal jewelry making for the winter semester since I used to do that years ago. And I’m obsessed with jewelry. I would love to take the beginner’s sewing class one day.

However, if I suck at this jewelry making class – I’m done with this creative BS. DONE. Maybe I’m just meant to enjoy the arts not make stuff. I can’t imagine what takes 8 weeks to learn*. I hope I get to make more than one piece for all that time i put it in. But this is METAL jewelry making. So it is probably pretty cool. They offer a lot of classes but if I start thinking – lol- I will never make a choice.

*After researching metal jewelry making a little more, I can see why a lot of time is needed. I’m nervous about using some of those tools.

I’m supposed to be saving money. No more feather earrings, that’s for sure. 🙂 Plus I am taking a “real” class next semester. The money is due the first week of December. Thank g-d, it is only 2 credits. And that’s not all. There is an exercise class I want to take too. It is at another place. It costs about $200. Ouch! ………..

But am I a work all week and on Mondays do jewelry making all evening and then on Thursday do yoga once a week for about 90 minutes and then have a “real class” to deal with type of person??? I’m a homebody. I’m not used to being out of the house that much. On the weekends, I’m not going to want to go anywhere if I do all that but I will have to work OT if it is available.

I’m trying to not focus on how much all this will cost. I’m working OT this weekend and on “Black Friday”. And no, I will not be in a store on that Friday. But shhhh! I will be on to see if Dexter season 3 goes on sale. I will die DIE if it is $10. I will be forced to buy it. 😉

I’m just rambling aloud. Is class after class the life I want? That may be the only way I can find my passion. I just hate that it costs so much. Others just know and don’t have to go through all this. But it is supposed to be FUN. And it might be. I don’t know.

Well I’m going to take a nap and then I have a ton of school work to do. I’m behind for the first time this semester. Ick.

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