Talkin’ Smooth

I present you with the love of my life:

Yes, Rachel. She rocked it last night. I can’t believe how much I’m going to miss Big Brother…until next summer. But I’m pretty sure Rachel won’t be there. 😦 She’ll be back one summer.

I call certain people “come withs”. I’m not the most creative person so that name sucks. They are people who must go somewhere with another person. They can’t go to a movie alone, a concert, a museum, etc. I’m not at all like that and I have social anxiety! I always get a little chuckle at “normal” people not wanting to go out alone. It should be the other way around. Anyhow, I feel like some of these ‘come withs’ will just go with anyone to a movie (or whatever). They just can’t do it alone.

I don’t want to be a ‘come with’s go-to partner. NO. Partially because I’m not at all that way and I don’t fully get it. And maybe a part of me feels used. The “come with” is thinking I can’t go to ———– alone but I really, really want to go. I have to find someone who will go with me!

Um, I don’t think so.
But perhaps I am only human and I can’t always so no. FUCK. I’m not social. I want to go to museums and yoga classes. I’d even go to a coffee shop with another person at this point. Yet, I got sucked into going to an event at a CHURCH (lol) tomorrow! I soooo don’t want to go. It will be weird. I haven’t been into that kind of church since I was 5 years old! I don’t wanna! 🙂

Okay, I committed so I’m going. I’m an atheist going to a church on a Friday night. WTF? I freaked out after saying yes and couldn’t work anymore. I was a wreck. I did have plans. I was going to spend all night on my homework for the week. (what fun!) I had it all planned out. Now I guess I’m doing it on Saturday, at the last minute. *Sigh*

I don’t know what else to say except I hope time flies. I said “yes”…
Something’s gotta give. I really want to travel. I’ll work hard and travel hard. But first I have to stop being a student. I also have to get certified (which is another monster). Since I went back to school, that must be completed. I would love to just go to New York on a whim but I have tuition bills. (Yes I know there are homeless people and unemployed people…)

I have the travel itch. My #1 dream place is still Mexico. I have accepted that life sucks. I just want to add an element of fun. And fun for me is mostly travel. Finish school first. Get certified. Stop bitching.

I want to go back to New York City. I’m a bad girl. Enough already.

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