hard to see a brighter day

Will the Senate pass the bill? I was leaning towards yes but now I don’t know. I still think they will. No one wins with this crap…The progressives are pissed.
I’m overwhelmed/depressed for a reason. It isn’t the vague feeling of “I’m sad and I don’t know why”. I’m more overwhelmed than depressed but sometimes they seem to go together. There is just so much STUFF going on. I sound like a broken record but that is where I am. This is why I’m not posting. What is there to say:

-lack motivation
-paralyzed by fear and other things

People are leaving dog waste (in bags) in my yard. I don’t know why this bothers me so much. LOL. I have bigger issues than that. But I sort of feel violated. Plus, I have a nausea problem so “just picking it up” is not that easy. I think that is what makes me mad. In the morning is when I’m most nauseous probably because I haven’t eaten. I need to do it after work. My therapist told me to call the cops. There are so many reasons why I don’t want to do that.

I probably will take pictures of the “trash” and I promise not to post it here. 😉 The cops won’t do shit. Even if I lived in a good neighborhood, they probably would laugh at me. Right?? I have no idea. I just know not to call 911 cause this isn’t an emergency.
I do know that I have to go back to exercising. I did watch a pilates video. I loved it. I can see why yoga and pilates would be combined. At the end of the month, I hope to take my first yogalates class. Until then I need to do something. I have gone to the gym on my own. I’ve also done latin dancing via DVD etc. But right now, I’m doing nothing…

School starts very soon. That is probably a good thing for me.
I watched Black Swan again. THE PRESSURE. That is what people can relate to. When watching that I think of law students studying for the bar exam, anyone trying to get any type of certification. The movie portrayed that perfectly. The movie isn’t a must see but I enjoyed it.

I also liked the way the movie characterized self-consciousness. You have to lose yourself to be in the moment. You can’t be self aware at all times. I do think some self awareness is good, of course. Even though it wasn’t perfect, I loved it.

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