you blues

Hit the bottom and bounce back up.
The lowest low is only a beginning.
These are the words many people said to me.
But in a crowd you lose humanity.
Scared of the future that comes from the past.
When I think back I see that this could never last.

-you blues by Juliana Hatfield

I wanted to bitch and complain…and I just might. I wanted to talk about how my cat doesn’t get along with other cats and how I don’t judge her for it. Then I woke up, cleared my brain and I realized that my cat wasn’t a human being but still!

How about I just do the ending? Here goes:

When I have a bad experience around a group of people, I don’t want to be around them. Them = groups of people. This is why I’m never going to get a business off the ground because I’m always thinking, “I’m soooooo done with people.” Why would I want to go to a church filled with people after being around them for 40+ hours?? At this point I am still going to church in two weeks but I’m not looking forward to it. Cuz I’m done!

My life is a record on repeat. I’m sick of other people saying I don’t make them comfortable. ROFL. Welcome to my life. Sorry, you have to catch me on a good day for me to feel bad for you. Haha.

I have to go into my little story: I tried breathing and it backfired. Why can everyone else breathe but me? *whine* I just want to breathe! Why is everything I do misinterpreted? EVERYTHING! No, I will not try to make you feel comfortable by being, uh normal?? WTF is wrong with “them”? Do they seriously think I’m going out of my way to be ME? (tense, neurotic etc.)

::frustration::

Just let me breathe. Please. I’m done! DONE!

——————–

Tiger Woods & Buddhism: It was always said that Tiger had such good concentration because his father would throw chairs while he was playing golf. Now I’m wondering if he is/was just a really good at meditation. I’m selfishly glad that he mentioned that he moved away from Buddhism during the last few (uh-huh) years. Tiger is so private and a control freak (takes one to know one) that he will probably never mention this tidbit again. I’m just really curious…and jealous.

I rarely hear any Westerns say “I’m Buddhist.” I assume it is common in the East. Most Westerns say, “I’m studying Buddhism”, right? If I can achieve Buddhism, I can do anything!

Gotta go. My cat is getting impatient and I have to go to the library. Then pancakes! woohoo. 😉

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