I let you mess with my head

I’m listening to Gabby Bernstein because people are fucking assholes. I want to rant about Libras and Capricorns. You already know how I feel about Aries. But Libras and Capricorns THINK they are nice, but they can be mean. I have never met a Libra I would consider nice. They are smart and look down on people not as smart as they think they are. They are full of sarcasm. I hate that. Condescending BS.

You know what? These fucking people aren’t worth my time. Obviously. Right? I had a good day on Friday and a decent, productive day today. FUCK THEM!

I always remember who starts things. Always. I DIDN’T DO SHIT TO YOU.


I have two live (as in on video) tarot readings to do. Yes, I’m scared shitless. And I feel like these people are pulling me away from FOCUSING. I kind of tested myself and I feel decent. One reading is tomorrow (Sunday) and the other is Tuesday. I’ve got this.

Paypal Credit can suck it too! I’m not paying them this month. I don’t have the money. I was going to pay them $30 or $60, but that doesn’t cover the minimum. My therapist would congratulate me on not paying. LOL! I will pay them eventually. I hope it is within 3 months. Ideally, it would be within 2 months, but I don’t know. I will work out some monthly plan. I won’t die…hopefully. I know they won’t die. But I don’t want to get more than 3 months behind.

I have shit to do. That should be my new motto. I’m ignoring (starting right now) certain people on social media. That sounds silly, but these people aren’t my friends. We don’t have any other connections. Oh, there is one person in real life getting on my nerves. I wish I could ignore her. Haha. Not possible.

We were never friends. I know that. She definitely knows that. I’m not good enough for her because I have no money. Okay, that was totally WRONG and snarky. I’m not a Libra, no need to act like that. I hope she isn’t vindictive like a Scorpio. I couldn’t take that.

I think Scorpios get a bad rap. Once they do the work on their past hurts, they can be awesome healers. I like their intensity. However, an unhealed Scorpio can be scary.

I needed to vent and rant. Lovely blog. I love my blog. Okay, that’s sarcasm. I love Gabby Berstein and my dog. Marie Forleo is okay too. 😉 I want to say Marie is my business role model, but I keep thinking I’m not like her. She’s an extrovert. She helps people start businesses. She can talk. etc.

Election 2020: I’m kind of sad that Beto dropped out of the race. I didn’t like that he called Elizabeth Warren ‘punitive’. He is too moderate for me, but I liked him on the debate stage. So freaking bummed that Castro won’t be on the debate stage on November 20th. And then there is Bloomberg. Whatever. Next.

This week I…

Music of the week: Miranda Lambert, Natasha Bedingfield, H.E.R, Ariana Grande, Lauren Daigle, Alessia Cara, Backstreet Boys, Beyonce

TV of the week:  Survivor, The Devil Next Door

Podcasts of the week: So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines

Books of the week: I’m rereading  Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. I’m also rereading Super Attractor: Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams by Gabby Bernstein. At first, I wasn’t crazy about Super Attractor. Now I can’t get enough. I’ve probably read it three times. I will probably read it 10 more times before the year is over. Who needs new books?

I need to finish Letting Go by David Hawkins. It’s about surrendering negative feelings. Think I need to do that. 😉

Weekend Plans: My therapist is nuts. She wants me to walk my dog twice a day for an hour. I don’t do the cold. I don’t leave my house when it’s cold. I hibernate. But you know what? I’m going to do it. I will walk him right after lunch and right after work. Did I mention that I hate the cold? I sort of hoping it rains on some days just so I have an excuse not to walk.

Tomorrow I’m taking my dog to the park in the morning. I’m really doing it because I want to get my mind off doing the video tarot reading. If I stayed in, I would probably drive myself crazy.

I hope I can get of my mind, tune in and give a good tarot reading tomorrow.

Private entries – October

October 13

OMG. I’m being a big procrastinator. THREE people have enrolled in the course. I should be working on that right now. Instead, I’m doing 50 other things. Hello, procrastination. I want to finish module two today. How likely is that to happen? And I want to have an email ready to send to students (how weird is that?) on Wednesday morning. I have so much to say. I’m so glad this exists. I will try to never take time from work to write here. Breathe. Get back to working on module 2 – something that matters!!

October 15th

Oh god. Today was a day. Jackasses somehow used my debit card and charged $370 worth of stuff on my debit card. To make matters worse, the astrology guy still took money out of Paypal even after I emailed him to NOT do that. Jackass. I called to file bankruptcy, but I don’t think I will. FUCK. Sometimes I feel screwed for life. But maybe I should consider Chapter 7 bankruptcy, but I don’t want to stop paying my bills AGAIN. Been there, done that.


Was trying to figure out this whole business taxes thing. But who cares at this point? I don’t know whether I’m a business or not. I think I am. I’ll figure that out later. Working on horoscopes while watching the debate tonight.

Oh, and I now have 6 students. The good news!

October 17th

Ugh. I’m watching RHOC. So not good with the sex talk. ick. over it. The drinking and sex talk. Anyway, it’s cold and I’m loving it. Have to do the tarot reading at 6. Recording it at 7. Then more stuff in my Etsy shop. Tomorrow is Astro 101 course stuff. I have to rerecord some of the moon stuff and add it to the zodiac section. Blah. That isn’t until week three.

What else? Someone asked me about my class. Have to respond. My IG story’s views are at an all-time low. Weird. Hmmm. Used to 150+ looking at my last story. Now I have 3. Not feeling super motivated to post in stories.

I hope I can make $300 a month on Etsy + SWT. That would be good. I think. Need to do a budget. Not sure how much Paypal is going to be.

October 21st

Today has been a day. I hate seeing my old entries here. Having all kinds of feelings about S being in the course. She is judging. She’s judgemental. On the other hand, she is forcing me to make the course “better”, but at what cost? I’m napping less. Maybe tomorrow will be fine and I’ll be able to sleep. Working on the planets tonight. I need to take a social break. Thinking about doing it over the weekend. But I probably need it during the week.

FOCUS. Yes, focus.

I will occasionally do this especially when I don’t have time to blog here. These aren’t all of October’s entries. I will try to be back this weekend. Bye!


The pathway to surrender

I found a new way to journal. I LOVE it. All I have to do is email my entries in. Dabble Me sends me an email every day at 5 PM, and all I have to do is click respond and type. I wish I’d known about this before. I used to journal on paper, but now I can’t keep track of anything, plus I’m paranoid about other people reading it.

There’s a free version and a paid version. I don’t know all the differences between the versions. All I know is that with the free version, I don’t think a reminder email comes every day. I think it only comes once a week, which wouldn’t help me.

I’m taking a social media break.  😦 From Monday through Friday, no Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for me. I will miss Twitter the most because I get most of my news from there. FB and Insta aren’t that big a deal. I can easily live without those.

What I really need is probably an internet break, but I can’t do that right now because I’m still working on the course I’m making. I rerecorded ALL of module 2. And now I’m re-recording the whole damn course. The good thing is that the slides are done. I just have to do my voiceover again.

I’m thinking about registering my business as an LLC. It’s not as expensive where I live compared to California. Where I live, it’s $100 upfront and then $50 a year. That’s cheap compared to other states. I just want to do what’s best for taxes. I’m attending a webinar with an accountant soon, so she should be able to answer my questions.

I don’t even want to think about taxes. First, I haven’t paid any taxes on the money from my online business.*. Then I did a debt relief program, so my taxes could be a mess. If the IRS wants money, I’m going to ask them for a payment plan if it’s over $200.

*I haven’t made a ton, but I still have to pay taxes on it. I need to find an accountant. I will probably ask around in a FB group. The lady that does my taxes doesn’t specialize in online business.

All I have been doing is working. I’m glad to be blogging right now. At least, it’s not working!

This week I…

Music of the week: Christina Aguilera, Taylor Swift, Jussie Smollett, Ariana Grande, Rachael Sage, Rachel Platten, Lissie, Maggie Rose

TV of the week:  Survivor, Real Housewives of Potomac

Podcasts of the week: So You Wanna Be a Witch, Crimelines, Online Business Made Easy

Crimelines is my new favorite podcast. If you like true crime, give it a listen.

Books of the week: Hopefully, with my social media break, I will find time to finish these books –

Weekend Plans: I’ve been working nonstop on free content for my biz. I wish I could take today off, but I have to complete horoscopes for November. I have to do an email to my email list. Etc. Etc.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week! 🙂

I hate narcs


But I got 6 students for my astrology course starting on MONDAY (not freaking out – LOL). Yaaaas, I got paid. Just to be clear, I’m talking about the course I created. I am also taking an astrology course, so I always think it’s confusing when I say “astrology course.” Anyway…

The joke is on you bitches. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m obviously not talking about you.

It’s probably a Trump or Joe Biden supporter. Or an Aries. ROFL. Sorry. No, not really. I would never narc on someone, so I don’t get it. Live and let live is my motto. I don’t give a shit what others do because I have so much going on in my life.

Oh, and I’m honored so many new people are here. But where did they come from? I’m serious. Oh well. I’m okay with 5 people reading or 500.

I’m probably not going to update more over the weekend, even though I have tons to say. I have to be 100% focused on this course. I’m freaked. I admit it. I’ve never done anything like this! And people paid for it! TWO people paid full price. WTF? But thank you. 🙂 Module one which goes out on Monday is done, but knowing me, I will probably redo something. Sigh. I’m going to try to relax and not freak out anymore.

Thanks for reading. Have a nice weekend. 🙂

Am I alive?

So far, two people purchased my astrology course. BUT I had to offer it half price to get those sales. Each person paid $20. The last day to purchase is this upcoming Tuesday (debate night!). I’m not expecting more sales. Maybe one more? Hopefully. But I’m thankful for two sales. I did mention that I cut the price because I wanted feedback. I hope these two lovely people give me feedback.

I did get feedback from a person I let see one module. They weren’t my ideal customer because the person knew too much about astrology. They said it was “too beginner.” Well, yes, it is. That’s the point. 🙂

Excited to have students. I’m also terrified. That’s why I pushed the start date from October 14 to October 21. I just couldn’t take it, plus I want to make sure the one worksheet needed for module one is in good shape. The other modules will have more worksheets that I need to get started on after I blog here.

I did apply for a part-time freelance job. It’s a work from home job. I did a test. It took about 2 hours to complete the test. If I don’t pass, I might try one more time with a different email address and my full name. The pay is not great. Some people make $150 a week, but how many hours are they working? I only need about $100 a week (in addition to my full-time job, of course). I just don’t want to spend 40 hours working a PT job to get only $100. How can I do much of anything if I’m working 80 hours a week?

I should hear back by Wednesday about this job. I’m hesitant about trying again because I don’t know if I’m going to be good at this job. I don’t want a stressful PT job. No way. Been there, done that. I might read about others’ experiences more to see if I would like the job before I try again.

I know I need a PT job because I had to cancel my therapy appointment due to a lack of money. 😦 I rescheduled for October 25th. My emotions keep going up and down, so I know I could use therapy.

This week I…

Music of the week: Lauren Daigle, Taylor Swift, Victory, Tori Kelly, Carly Rae Jepsen, Beyonce, Andra Day, Aretha Franklin

TV of the week: The Politician, Survivor

I didn’t think I would like The Politician. I don’t usually watch comedy, but this is a dark comedy. It’s full of sarcasm.  It’s on Netflix. Gwyneth Paltrow is in it, but not too much if you hate her. 😉

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage,  So You Wanna Be a Witch, The Astrology Podcast, The Jim Fortin Podcast, Crimelines, Online Marketing Made Easy, The Thing About Pam (overrated, but good)

Books of the week: I finished reading Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. Best self-help book in the last 5 years! Read this book. It’s everything. I wish I didn’t have the audio version, so I could highlight the important parts. But I’m not buying the Kindle version right now, I might buy it later.

I also finished Super Attractor: Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams by Gabby Berstein. I listened to this also. I’m currently reading the Kindle version to highlight the parts I want to keep going back to. If you like The Universe Has Your Back by her, you’ll probably like this. Super Attractor is sort of like part two. I have to actually read it before I give my opinion. I was listening to the audio version while working.

Right now, I’m not reading anything new. I might start something soon. It depends on whether I get a PT job.

Weekend Plans: Nothing to do with the weekend, but I was off on Monday and Tuesday. I mostly worked on creating my course. I took my dog to the park on Tuesday and yesterday. I usually don’t like Fall, but this summer was brutal since my room was often over 100 degrees. I’m not off from work again until November 18. I’m off for the first 3 days of that week. I wish I had asked for more time off in December. I only have December 30th off, then I have to work on NYE, and I have New Year’s off. Blah. Oh, I also have Xmas day off, of course.

Today I’m going to work on creating my course. I mostly took yesterday off. I’ve been working my ass off! I deserve one day of just doing nothing. Besides going to the park, I did a bunch of business development stuff, which doesn’t count as work to me.

Thanks for reading. I hope to get back to blogging at least once a week from now on. This is the only way I keep up with my life these days. I have to get back to journaling on paper, or maybe I will try journaling on my computer since I haven’t tried that in years.

Have an excellent week! 🙂

OMG. Dying

I haven’t been able to update this blog. Or breathe. So…yeah.

My 3 part video series goes live Monday. SCARY FUCKING SHIT.

Then I’m launching my course in mid-October. It is not done yet. So yeah, I’m kind of freaking out.

I have no time to do much of anything. But I’m still here. After October 15th, I’m hoping things will get back to normal IF I have the course completed. As of right now, I’m planning on selling it for $47, and the price will go up to $97 next time I launch because it will be better. I hate putting something out that isn’t perfect. But I’m not going to let perfectionism hold me back.

Like Gabby Bernstein would say, “fuck it. let’s go!” That’s what I’ve been doing.

I don’t have time to do a full “weekly” post. But I saw the movie 1922 (a Stephen King film). And I’m currently reading: Super Attractor: Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams by Gabby Berstein, and Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo.

I recorded a lot today. More than I’ve ever recorded in one day. Back to work.

They always say I don’t fit in

Ha! The letter to the landlord worked. Kind of. He still wants me to pay $1500, and then I’m done!! At first, he wanted me to pay $14,000. LOL. What happened to that amount? He knew he was wrong. He knew that wasn’t legal. I didn’t even mention I had a lawyer in my letter to him even though people told me to. I didn’t say that because I didn’t want to be dishonest. Anyhow, I “only” have to pay him $400 a month until I pay off the $1500. Some people would tell me not to pay that, but I will. It’s not worth hiring a lawyer to fight $1500.

Woohoo! I was so scared he was going to take me to court and then I would have to hire a lawyer. I would have tried to settle versus going to court. But I still would have to had to pay the lawyer. I’m so grateful to the people who told me to fight this. Sometimes people are awesome. 😉 Too bad I was paying to talk to both of those people. I don’t have friends, so I get nothing for free.

18 people ended up signing up for my free astrology email course. Not bad. I just wish I knew if they liked it. I can’t control that, but what’s the point if everyone hated it? I know I like to teach astrology, but that doesn’t make me a good teacher. I’m doing another free course at the end of this month. This time it will be a free VIDEO course. I hope I can get more than 18 people to sign up for it since the topic is better and it’s video. I’m supposed to be working on that now. And my big NOT FREE course will start around October 14th. I still don’t know the price. I think I’m going to price it at $47. Not sure. Asking people to spend money makes me uncomfortable. I’m fine with charging under $20. But there’s no way, I’m going to sell an astrology 101 course with five modules for $20. People won’t buy it because it is priced too low.

Election 2020: Anyone who supports Joe at this point is hmmm, what’s a nice word? Uninformed? He is clearly suffering from dementia. It’s sad. I wonder what would happen if he were president. I think the chances of that happening are low, but what if? I think we would rarely see him. He would have to resign and let his VP step in. When Biden was going on about record players, almost everyone was looking down uncomfortably. Kamala looked embarrassed. Warren looked like she just wanted it to be over.

Sigh. At least Booker said something later on CNN about how Biden might not be the best candidate if he can’t speak coherently. He wasn’t that blunt, of course. I think it is irresponsible of the media to let this go on. Thank god for Twitter where a few brave souls called what Biden said racist (it was) and said he had a meltdown. I hate to say calling it racist is a distraction, BUT the point is, he isn’t mentally healthy. Most people (black, white, brown) aren’t going to believe Biden is a racist. I knew he wouldn’t last 3 hours. Someone with mental decline can’t stand up for 3 hours in that situation. He needed a long break. He’s probably fine in the mornings after sleep.

As far as Biden on race, he has always been bad on race. He’s been saying racist things for at least 40 years. Look at his policies too. It’s not just what he says.

Oh, and Joe was wrong when he said the Obama administration didn’t keep children in cages. But who cares? JOE FOR AMERICA!!!11!!!1!!

About Castro, it was a low blow because he kept going on and on and spoke over Biden. If he had just made a comment about “what you said 2 minutes ago” and stopped, I probably wouldn’t call it a low blow.  I still support Castro for VP. 🙂 Too bad this will probably hurt him. He has made the October debate, so maybe he can redeem himself. Anyhow, I don’t think what he said was mean because this is politics. Anything goes (unfortunately). Trump would kill Biden. I don’t even want to think about it. The Republicans probably want Biden to be the nominee so bad because they know they’ll win against him.

This week I…

Music of the week: Ma Muse, Ayla Nereo, Aretha Franklin, Beyonce, Rising Appalachia, Ariana Grande, Lykke Li, Missy Higgins

An article just came out about how people are listening to less music. I hope this doesn’t affect people from releasing music. I’ve been listening to less music because I’ve been concentrating on listening to astrology business-related stuff. I still listen to music about 5 days a week, but I used to listen to music every single day.

TV of the week: Big Brother, Mindhunter

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Hell and Gone, Pod Save America, So You Wanna Be a Witch, The Astrology Podcast, The Jim Fortin Podcast

Books of the week: 

Weekend Plans: I was off Friday. I’ve been sleeping until 9AM!! I never do that. It is 100% due to the new meds I’m taking. I have stuff to do. I can’t sleep until 9. That’s not okay. I’m working on creating astrology content. That’s my number 1 priority. I have to go create Instagram content now. Fun times.

Have a great weekend. 🙂 Thanks for reading!